Fatman review
Many people think that Lethal Weapon with Mel Gibson is a Christmas movie. This week I retro review a Mel Gibson movie, Fatman, that leaves no doubt that it’s a Christmas movie. I mean, Gibson plays Santa Claus so come on! Now this isn’t your fantastical, wondrous North Pole that you see in Rudolph, The Red Nose Reindeer or Elf. Gibson’s Santa lives on a very northerly remote farm location instead in this more grounded, brilliantly bizarre and violent Christmas tale. Santa and Mrs. Claus are falling on some hard financial times with all the money they’re spending on making and delivering gifts to all the kids worldwide. In comes the U.S. military to provide them a new lucrative opportunity to make their not-so-merry money mayhem go away. Santa has to wrestle with his convictions in deciding on accepting these new “milk and cookies” from them. As if that weren’t enough, he has no idea that a kid, who rightfully got coal for Christmas, has hired a hitman to kill him. The hitman, played by the fantastic Walton Goggins, also has a certain bone to pick with jolly ol Saint Nick. Woe to anyone that gets in his way in his mission, including Santa’s elves. Is it worth you delaying your Christmas shopping to watch Fatman? Check out this review to find out! Fatman also stars Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Chance Hurstfield, Susanne Sutchy, Robert Bockstael, Michael Dyson, Deborah Grover, Ellison Grier Butler, Eric Woolfe, Lynne Adams and Ekaterina Baker.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation review
Has your Christmas season ever consisted of a squirrel terrorizing your family, a rusty eyesore flea-bitten RV parked out in front of your house, putting up so many Christmas lights you blackout the rest of the city, a SWAT team attacking your house during a kidnapping, etc., etc.? That’s just what’s in the stockings, not to mention what’s under the Christmas tree, in this week’s movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Thanksgiving is over, Black Friday black eyes are healing and the leftovers are stale so it’s time to get some Christmas movies under our belt this season. Christmas Vacation was the Vacation franchise rebound from the utter failure that was European Vacation. Chevy Chase returns as the dim-witted Clark Griswold, who this time is just trying to put together the perfect Christmas for his family. It’s a beautiful plan on paper until you put a guy named Clark Griswold in charge of it, and add in Cousin Eddie played by the perfect for the role, Randy Quaid. Of course Clark, as he always does, tries too hard and things get burnt, soaked, maimed, etc. You know, like your traditional Christmas. This movie is a go-to Christmas classic for many and it deserves a deeper dive into. So let’s tear the gift wrapping off this movie and dig in! Christmas Vacation also stars Beverly D’Angelo, Johnny Galecki, Juliette Lewis, John Randolph, Diane Ladd, E.G. Marshall, Doris Roberts, Miriam Flynn, William Hickey, Sam McMurray, Nicholas Guest, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Brian Doyle-Murray and Nicollete Scorsese.
Silent Night review
After seeing this movie, when you sing Silent Night, you might start thinking of automatic weapons and gang members. Silent Night is directed by John Woo and stars Joel Kinnaman as a Dad who’s young son has been killed by gang members. He’s understandably wrought with grief and filled with rage. He decides that he’s going after the gang that took his son and turned his life into a living hell. Not sounding at all like what the song Silent Night is about? Exactly. The silent part comes from when he’s shot in the throat by a gang member and permanently loses his voice. That doesn’t stop him from training to be Rambo and looking for some payback. Does this movie have very much to do with Christmas? Watch my spoiler-free review to find out and to see if it’s worth firing up the sleigh for this movie. Silent Night also stars Catalina Sandino Moreno, Kid Cudi, Harold Torres, Vinny O’Brien, Yoko Hamamura, Anthony Giulietti and John Pollack.
Violent Night review
Violent Night, bloody night. All is wrong. All is fright. It's the most wonderful fight of the year in Violent Night. David Harbour as Santa Claus trades in coal for grenades, and MacGyvers candy canes into deadly weapons, in this crueltide tale of Christmas carnage. Santa finds himself having to try to save a family from a gun-toting Mr. Scrooge and his evil murderous grinches. Will Jolly Saint Nick be able to save Christmas for this family, or will there be a bloodbath under the mistletoe? Check out this spoiler-free review to hear more.